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So I have a brilliant idea: find out where Uncle Sam is buried, head back across the country, and say goodbye.  I don't think of visiting my father while I'm there, I have said goodbye to him a long time ago, even if he didn't realize it. This idea, as wild as it seems, appeals to me on many levels.  I can retrace the journey I took to leave my past, and finally lay it all to rest.  I can truly put it behind me and figure out my next steps. 


Since I finished my degree, I have felt the need for a change, something new.  This year I attempted to find a job in another state, to find a new location, maybe a place I could call home.  I never meant my current locale to be permanent.  It has never been home.  Where I come from no longer feels like home. I am as out of place as ever. 


I have not been able to travel for the last few years, mostly for financial reasons and the state of my car.  I miss it.  The need to go somewhere, to wander, has been making itself louder with each passing day.  Here is the perfect reason to go, to get out of town, to escape.  And I have a break from work coming up, so that I won't even need to use much of my vacation/sick time, not that I have much accrued yet anyway.


I realize, based on my reading of Stephanie Plum's grandmother's fascination with funerals, that chapels are probably busy on the weekends, so I decide instead to find out how I can travel back in time, and I will call the chapel on Monday morning to find out if they can tell me anything about his service/burial site. 


I quickly realize that the flight prices are astronomical.  I spent less to fly to London a few years ago. I'm using money I should be saving toward a car/moving/getting a new apartment.  I'm charging to a card I'm trying to pay off. I check the bus: 3+ days but so much cheaper.  I try trains: still astronomical and actually longer travel time than the bus.  I go back to the bus: the route takes me through 2 states that I have yet to visit, and I will be able to redo my previous journey, almost. Not only will I be able to visit Uncle Sam's gravesite and say goodbye to him and my past, I'll be able to travel across the U.S.  I'm excited by this point.  I disregard the need for a rental, the need to research hotels, the need to figure out how to exist on a bus for more than 3 days.  I can feel the yearning.