Blasphemy

Excerpt from the short story This is What it Means to Say Phoenix, Arizona included in Blasphemy by Sherman Alexie (advance reading copy):

Victor drove for sixteen hours straight north, made it halfway up Nevada toward home before he finally pulled over.
"Hey, Thomas," Victor said. "You got to drive for a while."
"Okay."
Thomas Builds-the-Fire slid behind the wheel and started off down the road. All through Nevada, Thomas and Victor had been amazed at the lack of animal life, at the absence of water, of movement.
"Where is everything?" Victor had asked more than once.
Now when Thomas was finally driving they saw the first animal, maybe the only animal in Nevada. It was a long-eared jackrabbit.
"Look," Victor yelled. "It's alive."
Thomas and Victor were busy congratulating themselves on their discovery when the jackrabbit darted out into the road and under the wheels of the pickup.
"Stop the goddamn car," Victor yelled, and Thomas did stop, backed the pickup to the dead jackrabbit.
"Oh, man, he's dead," Victor said as he looked at the squashed animal.
"Really dead."
"The only thing alive in the whole state and we killed it."
"I don't know," Thomas said. "I think it was suicide."
Victor looked around the desert, sniffed the air, felt the emptiness and loneliness, and nodded his head.
"Yeah," Victor said. "It had to be suicide."
"I can't believe this," Thomas said. "You drive for a thousand miles and there ain't even any bugs smashed on the windshield. I drive for ten seconds and kill the only living thing in Nevada."
"Yeah," Victor said. "Maybe I should drive."
"Maybe you should."

Lloyd Dobler goes to Washington (D.C.)

wherein I discuss John Cusack's tweets.

I've made no secret in this blog of the fact that I am a John Cusack fan. I think most women my age (not yet 40) have at one time or another had a thing for Lloyd Dobler. Sweet, slightly awkward at moments, just wanting to spend time with the woman he loves, always going to be there when so much else is going wrong in your life, kickboxing, yummy Lloyd Dobler.  I remember seeing some article recently where John Cusack stated he was trying to move away from those early roles, maybe even regretted them (not sure if I’m remembering the thing correctly or not). No, please, say anything but that!

Several years ago I was in Chicago for a week of training seminars. Fun stuff, really. Each day after the “lecture” a group of us would head off down Michigan Ave. One of the women was even more of a John Cusack fan than I was at the time. She would literally walk up to cars (the traffic was usually barely moving) and look in the windows to see if he was in the car. I promise I wasn’t doing it also. The two guys who were usually with us were completely embarrassed, and even I was trying to get her to stop. I’ve since wondered what I would actually have done if the slightly-crazier-than-me lady had discovered John Cusack in a car.

Most likely it would have went something like this:

“Um, uh, oh, I swear I tried to stop her. But since you’re here, it’s nice to meet you?”

I’ve walked up to the actor who played Q in L.A. to ask for an autograph for a star struck friend, and I have no problem getting guys’ numbers in bars for friends, but for myself? No way.

Anyway, as a fan of John Cusack, I of course followed him on the new household Twitter account. Turns out he’s incredibly political, if his tweets are anything to go by, overwhelmingly so at times.  My feed became full of political messages and arguments with others (though I finally decided to look at some of their pages and they weren’t people I’d want to spend much time with) about politics. Some messages I couldn’t even understand. Granted, I set up the twitter account right around election time. I figured that once the election had passed other topics would start showing up in my feed. One finally did, and it was about:

sports.

The thing is that our politics basically agree. I just tend to like humor in my politics. I wanted to see some evidence of a personality. This is the actor who did movies as disparate as Say Anything, High Fidelity, Max, Raven, Grosse Pointe Blank, and Better off Dead. Maybe the problem is that I wanted to see a certain personality. Maybe I’m expecting too much from 140 characters.

What does it really mean to be a fan? We create blogs based on their work (me). We tweet Taylor Swift song quotes (not me). Once we pay attention to the director credits we realize that the Criminal Minds episodes directed by Matthew Gray Gubler are the episodes which blow our minds (me). We ask them to marry us over twitter (so NOT me, though I retweeted it cuz I thought it was funny). We make sure to watch Castle (me). We hang out at the hotel they're staying at (not me). We end up watching E! News after Chelsea Lately, getting dragged into the story of RPatt and KStew's relationship (me, and I've never even seen a Twilight film). We start to feel as if we are involved in their lives. But the characters they play are ephemeral. They're a mirage. They live only on the screen, both small and large. The actor who played Q notwithstanding, and no matter how many car windows we look into on trips to Chicago, the odds are that we will never meet them.

Lloyd Dobler doesn't actually exist.

(Evidently neither does the line in the Martian Child where Mr. Cusack tells the girl not to take away his Social Security benefits when she becomes president. I swear that line was there in the theater but now isn't on my DVD version. It was my favorite line too).

Mr. Cusack is right. It is his twitter feed, to do with as he wishes, though he worded it differently.  And change never came about through people who wouldn’t listen because they wanted more humor or personality. If Martin Luther King, Jr. and feminists had been quiet some of us wouldn’t have had the right to vote when we did. I’ve driven the voting rights march route between Selma and Montgomery, and that was no walk in the park. Change needs politically loud and passionate people.

So I had pretty much resigned myself to getting political commentary from Mr. Cusack, among others, and my humor from the comedians I follow. Then Thanksgiving weekend arrived, and there was a funny quote from his sister Joan, and some music clips (though I think he may have meant he digs the band, not did them). I admit that I gave a little sigh of relief.

Then yesterday, while I was trying to work out what I wanted to say in this post, Mr. Cusack tweeted another political tweet. And then he quoted Shakespeare.

Cool.

(Disclaimers: all tweets in this post are the intellectual property of John Cusack. Check out the Jane Automatically post to see why John Cusack has something to do with Jane Austen. And to Jennifer Crusie, who included a scene in Bet Me in which the women describe a test to see if a man should be dated twice based on his reaction to Lloyd Dobler steering Diane around the broken glass and one of the male characters in the book get extra points because he notices that she's wearing open toed shoes: she's not wearing open toed shoes in that scene. I watched the movie a couple more times just to make sure.)

 

 

Lloyd Dobler part 2- a tweet poem

A tweet by Mr. Cusack that caught my eye during the Thanksgiving weekend tweet fest mentioned in part 1:

 

"Talking to horses obsessing about sox and slippers- raises some intriguing salacious questions"

 

Say what? What does this even mean? It did raise some questions for me:

• Is this a quote? Am I missing something here?
• Did he spell socks as sox? or was he referencing some sports team? I think there's some Chicago sports team named something to do with sox- baseball?
• How is the person who uses and spells salacious the same person who sent this tweet:  "even some musicians and writers have figured tat ot.. but put you faith in forbes in forbes we trust"?
• If salacious questions come up while someone is talking to horses there may be a bigger problem than a confusing tweet

 So I decided to write in a different format (I left the sox spelling because of the question about his intent), add another dash, and then add some lines to it:

 

Talking to horses obsessing about sox and slippers-

 raises some intriguing salacious questions-

that race around inside my head crossing burning bridges-

invading my dreams of Cassiopeia dancing in the sky

 

That was fun. Makes no sense but fun nonetheless.

His turn.

 

Thankful

Thanksgiving part 2


I'm thankful for:

1. the obvious: Lars the dog, my generally good health, having mostly enough funds, etc.

2. that Jane Austen persevered, kept writing, and was published although it was a challenging time for female writers

3. that I was accepted into graduate school and have survived (almost) the first term

4. my friends (especially the one who makes sure all the side dishes are vegetarian tomorrow)

5. my right to vote

6. my ability to read


And I will be especially thankful when I finish that last question on the take home final currently sitting on my computer screen staring at me.

Happy Thanksgiving!

P.S.- Lars' list is on his page- you can access it on the sidebar to the right --->

Why I watch Chelsea Lately

I'm actually not sure why I watch Chelsea Lately. So let's examine the case for it.

Exhibit A:

A video of two of my favorite funny women (parental advisory warning for possible language, etc):








http://youtu.be/f4_VC6Cmm5U


Oh, right. That could explain it.

Exhibit B:

Here's Ms. Handler's response to Donald Trump's negative tweets during the election (again, possible parental advisory warning):


 http://youtu.be/6pAgqGGjsKU


Oh, right. That could help explain it also.

Exhibit C:

The other day during her opening monologue, Ms. Handler stated that she wanted us to get smart together, which is why she wore her hair in a bun that day.


This painting is by Jane Odiwe, as she imagined Jane Austen would look like as a younger version of the sketch by Jane's sister Cassandra. Her hair is in a bun.





Exhibit D:

One night during the show, Sarah Colonna, a regular on the show, commented that she, like Ms. Handler, does not want children and gets flack for that from people, like Ms. Handler. Ms. Handler has stated many times that she will not be having children, and most likely will not be getting married. Jane Austen didn't get married or have children either, though there's speculation as to whether she made the decision deliberately to give her the chance to pursue writing, or because the love of her life died early before anything could happen. Ms. Austen was very close to her nieces and nephews, and Ms. Handler has had her nieces on the show before. Let's see, who else has made the decision to not have children and most likely will not get married?

Me.

Exhibit E:

The one part of the show during which I tend to tune out is the mentions of drugs and alcohol. I've noticed that in the last few years my alcohol intake has steadily delined to almost nothing. Ms. Handler, on the other hand, is a huge fan of vodka. Ms. Austen herself was very fond of syllabub, a popular drink at the time which mixed milk and alcohol.

Natalie Tyler includes a recipe for syllabub in The Friendly Jane Austen:
juice and grated rind of one lemon
1 cup sherry, white wine, or brandy (not sure if it would work with vodka)
1 tablespoon sugar
1 cup whipping cream
freshly grated nutmeg
- allow the lemon rind to infuse in the liquor for several hours then remove it. Whip the cream until stiff and fold in other ingredients. Chill before serving.


Exhibit F:


Ms. Austen wrote 6 complete novels during her lifetime, along with letters and other projects. Number of her books that I've read: 6 plus quite a bit of the other stuff.

Ms. Handler has mentioned the books she reads multiple times on the show. She has also written books, though I really don't know how many. The number of her books that I've read: none.














Exhibit G:

Lastly, Jane Austen's work is witty, and humorous. Ms. Handler's humor tends to be a bit more, well, in your face. Though Ms. Austen's funny pen could cut pretty deep, for example with Mrs. Norris from Mansfield Park and Mr. Collins from Pride & Prejudice.


Chelsea Handler = modern day Jane Austen?


Well, no.  Not quite.  But it's a novel idea, if I do say so myself.


What was the question, again?

Thanksgiving part. 1

Thanksgiving is next week. I'm particularly excited because I have no classes all week.

And since Thanksgiving as we celebrate it is only done in the U.S. (remember the pilgrims and the Native Americans?), this doesn't actually have much to do with Jane Austen. A few years ago I worked for a bookstore chain which sent me to help open a store in Australia. I supervised the children's section for that opening. I knew enough not to ask why there were no books on Thanksgiving. Instead, I asked where all the books on Halloween were because I wanted to set up a display. They had a good laugh at my expense. Evidently (at least at the time) they don't celebrate it much either.

Anyway, I'm usually on the lookout for something I can actually cook to take with me over the river and to Grandma's house (not my Grandma, but she's still a Grandma). I think I may have found something I can make.  They call it vegan but use chocolate chips. I think they would have to be carob chips to makes these vegan. But since I haven't gone completely vegan....

Jane Automatically

Having visited many more rooms than could be supposed to be of any other use than to contribute to the window tax and find employment for housemaids, "Now," said Mrs. Rushworth, "we are coming to the part of this blog where a list of things that are considered automatically to have something to do with Jane Austen is written."


1. John Cusack. My favorite actor. My favorite movie has not yet been made: John Cusack starring in a movie based on a Jane Austen novel. Probably would be better if it was a modern remake. I have a couple of ideas for scripts myself, but I'm not talking.

2. Any book I decide to review or discuss. My love of reading is tied up with liking Jane Austen's books, and my liking Jane Austen's books is tied up with my love of reading. So any discussion of a book is fair game.

3. Wonder Woman. Because I say so. Also, any news-making woman or woman from history that I choose to write about.


Fanny:
"I am disappointed," said she, in a low voice, to Edmund. "This is not my idea of a blog."



Quotes (sort of) from Mansfield Park by Jane Austen. Everyman's Library version.

50 shades of Jane Austen

I never went to summer camp.

Don't feel bad: I grew up on 50 acres, had plenty of trees to climb, plenty of places to ride off on my bike, and my pony. I just never went to summer camp.

However, yesterday I found the perfect and ideal summer camp for me. The Connecticut regional chapter of the Jane Austen Society of North America runs a Jane Austen summer camp. Yep.

http://www.jasna.org/regions/events/ct-jul.html

Activities include lectures, games, Regency pastimes, and discussing Jane Austen with her other biggest fans. According to the website, "night owls can join us the first evening for a rousing game of “Who Wants to be a Duchess?” Participants use their knowledge of Jane Austen and 19th century England to answer trivia questions. See if you have what it takes to rise to the highest rank in the ton." Oh goody, I can't wait.

The theme this year is "Random Acts of Regency Naughtiness" and there will be a raffle to win a basket of “naughty” (PG-rated!) regency period gifts. Supposedly the idea "emerged as the conference theme after your conference committee had one waffle too many at a planning meeting!"

Personally, I don't think it was a waffle that inspired this year's naughtiness theme. I think  at least one someone around that conference table had read 50 Shades of Grey.  Or the whole trilogy.

I can honestly say that I have not read any of the three books. However, I did read a blog called 50 Shades of Suck:
http://50shadesofsuck.tumblr.com/page/26
It's set up a little oddly, as she started blogging in the middle of the trilogy and then went back and blogged the beginning because people kept telling her she needed to do so. So the blog needs to be read from page 26, then each previous page until page 1 is reached, then moving to the last page, 54, and moving backward to page 26. Odd, I know, but hilarious. I remember more pictures when I read it a few months ago, maybe she had to take them down. This blog had enough excerpts from the books (accompanied by the blogger's snarky comments) to show me that I did not need to read them. The repetition of the phrase inner goddess alone was enough for me.

Some examples:
My inner goddess jumps up and down with cheerleading pom-poms shouting yes at me;
My inner goddess is doing the merengue with some salsa moves;
My inner goddess has stopped dancing and is staring, too, mouth open and drooling slightly;
My inner goddess sits in the lotus position looking serene except for the sly, self-congratulatory smile on her face
My inner goddess bounces up and down like a small child waiting for ice cream
(taken from http://www.minnesotareads.com/2012/03/fifty-shades-of-grey/)

Jane Austen's inner goddess is cringing right now. Oh wait, Jane Austen's inner goddess is dead, just like the rest of her.

I know because I saw the plaque in Winchester Cathedral. I'd post the picture I took but it came out really dark.

I leave you with a 50 Shades of Grey musical. Hopefully your inner goddess will enjoy it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leT-4Y1l7NY&feature=youtu.be

Makes the heart grow fonder

(Absence part 2).

Ms. Austen used to hide her writing, both fiction and personal letters,under other papers when she thought anyone was watching her write.

I have to wonder what she would have thought about social media. Personally, I've resisted the lure of splashing everything out there for everyone to see. I doubt many people read this blog (especially after an absence of two years), so I don't really count it. I can write whatever I want to, really. This has been my only online presence. No one has really bothered me about this lack of social media involvement.

However, social media has been a big topic of discussion in one of my classes lately.  My classmates have a Facebook group to discuss school stuff, and I happen to be the only one not in it.  Though one person mentioned that she was only on Facebook for the group, and another recently mentioned they might not be there for much longer either. So it's not just me.  Honestly.

I decided, for some reason which still eludes me, to stick my toe into the pool of social media this week by setting up a household Twitter account. I follow John Cusack, Dov Davidoff, Nathan Fillion, Gloria Steinem, and various others like the show Rizzoli & Isles, while he follows Chunk Handler, Romeo the Cat, and Bo the Obamas' dog. He could follow Romney's dog, but I think it's still riding on top of one of the family's multiple Cadillacs. Since only a few people (if any) read this, we're there under D.D. and Lars.

I'm not sure what I expected from Twitter, but at this point I'm enjoying it. Some of the posts have actually been interesting, but that could be because I'm following some book things. Without Twitter, I would never have found my new hero, a 9 year old football player.

You can watch her here: http://youtu.be/ldHBB8j5QYw. It's not the version I saw, which had much better music. It was heavy rock type song by a woman, which just went perfectly with this girl power video. I really wanted to find out who did the music too.  Oops. So now I've learned a lesson about Twitter- save something if I like it because I might have found it through #discover and not through a tweet of someone I'm following.

And now, back to the regularly scheduled programming of more schoolwork.

See you around, maybe.

Absence

So the other day I realized I hadn't even looked at this blog for ages.  So today I searched for it, and discovered it's been two years since I posted here. I think it was because it became more difficult to tie everything into Jane Austen, even in a small way.  I love her stuff and all that, don't get me wrong. Plus I was busy with school and everything, and now am again. I just started a Masters program this semester, and it's a little crazy. So I'm going to start trying to post here every now and then, but not everything may be that tied into Jane Austen. Maybe I should rename it sometimeshassomethingtodo withjane austen.